Making Up After A Fight Questions for Couples

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1. 01What were you really upset about underneath the thing we were arguing about?
2. 02What's the difference between an apology that lands for you and one that doesn't?
3. 03What would "we handled that well" have looked like for this fight?
4. 04What's a physical sign you can read on me that means I'm shutting down, before I even know it myself?
5. 05What do you wish I'd asked you before jumping to explaining my side?
6. 06What's a fight from years ago that we'd handle differently today -- what changed?
7. 07What do you need from me in the first five minutes after we've both cooled off?
8. 08What's something about how your parents fought (or avoided fighting) that shows up in how you fight with me?
9. 09Fill in the blank: "What made it worse was when I ___."
10. 10Fill in the blank: "I shut down or get defensive when ___."
12. 11Fill in the blank: "One thing that would help me cool off faster is ___."
13. 12Fill in the blank: "Next time we start heading toward this fight again, I want us to ___."
14. 13Guess It: what do you think was the exact sentence that made things worse?
15. 14Guess It: what do you think would have stopped this fight from happening in the first place?
16. 15Guess It: what do you think I do right after a fight that you wish I'd do sooner?
17. 16Guess It: what do you think this fight was really about, underneath the surface topic?
18. 17This or That: talk it out immediately, or sleep on it and revisit tomorrow?
19. 18This or That: a long hug, or a long conversation, to know we're really okay?
20. 19This or That: rehash exactly what was said, or just agree to move forward?
21. 20This or That: process it together right away, or each cool off alone first?
22. 21Fill in the blank: "The thing I'm proudest of in how we handle conflict is ___."
23. 22Fill in the blank: "After a fight, I need ___ before I can move on."
24. 23Guess It: what do you think I'd change about how we handle arguments?
25. 24What's the thing I do during an argument that you've already clocked as "my move"?
26. 25What does "being on the same team" look like in a moment where our interests actually conflict?
27. 26What's a boundary you've had to learn to set in relationships, the hard way?
28. 27What's a way you know the difference between compromise and quietly losing yourself?
29. 28What's a habit from a past relationship you're actively trying to unlearn?
30. 29This or That: would you rather I chase you when you pull away, or give you space?